Self-Sabotage – Why Do We Derail ourselves?
Why do we get in our own way when we’re trying to grow?
Let’s talk about self-sabotage.
Whether it’s putting off healthy habits, procrastinating on a goal, or talking ourselves out of a great opportunity, self-sabotage is something many of us face — especially during times of change. It’s frustrating, disheartening, and often confusing. Why would we derail our own progress?
🔄 It often starts with push motivation — the kind of drive rooted in self-dislike, dissatisfaction, or frustration. This can be a powerful spark to initiate change, but it’s rarely enough to sustain it.
When the energy behind our actions is fueled by negativity, we tend to trigger our inner saboteur — that inner voice that questions our worth, undermines our efforts, and doubts our progress.
You might hear:
- “Why bother?”
- “I always mess things up.”
- “It’s too hard — I’ll never change.”
This creates cognitive dissonance — a psychological tug-of-war between our actions and our beliefs. That mental discomfort pushes us to seek relief, often by slipping back into old, familiar habits. These habits may offer short-term comfort, but they come at the cost of long-term growth.
But here’s the truth:
Self-sabotage isn’t a sign of weakness.
It’s a protective response — your brain’s way of seeking safety, familiarity, and control in the face of discomfort or uncertainty.
The good news? You can change this pattern. It starts with awareness.
✅ Learn to spot the saboteur’s voice. Notice when that inner critic shows up and what it says.
✅ Get curious about the beliefs behind it. Whose voice is it really? What fear or story is driving it?
✅ Reconnect with your pull motivation. Instead of changing to escape something, ask yourself what you’re moving toward. What matters to you? What do you want more of in your life?
Real change doesn’t come from perfection. It comes from compassion, consistency, and the courage to keep showing up, even when it’s hard.
If you’re on your own growth journey, or supporting others through theirs, this is one of the many tools explored in our coach training. Because sustainable change begins from within. And it starts with understanding.
For more detail about the tools and techniques we cover in our Health + Wellbeing Coach Training, click here…
